in as much as i love blogdrive. they don't have enough nice templates and i don't really have the time to design a new one each time my mood swings. so anyway, i'm moving to blogspot. in case you're interested to see what i've been up to: click here! ciao!!!

permafrost

okay i finally managed to convince my bf to give me a break. last night, or maybe this morning, i could barely keep my eyes open as i try to put a cold damp towel over his forehead. I haven't slept for more than 3 hours straight for a week already. He still has fever...and our hospital bills are gonna cause me a heartattack soon enough.

by the way, have i mentioned that i met his ex already? geesh...one of the weirdest feelings there ever is. but at least i got over it immediately. it's really not as worse as i would've imagined...she's pretty civil with me and not as sly or catty as i thought she would be.

anyway, i'm beginning to learn so many thing about my bf that i never would've found out just by talking to him. Like he's picky with food and the way they were cooked. He's a bit snappy and impatient even with his own mom. But he listens to me when i tell him that he should apologize to her, when i saw she was nearly in tears.

Although, i must admit she could really get on anyone's nerves. I guess because she's old or something. But she speaks as if, she's ready to argue or something. Although, she explains to me that this is not always so.

Sometimes, i also get irked when they spoil my stepdaughter. I mean, she wouldn't grow up properly if she gets everything she asks for out of a whim. this is gonna be one tough year. sigh! i just hope we get along pretty well. i treat her as my own, that's why i don't want her to be spoiled. coz i wasn't raised that way.

***

about my store, darn i hate my sewers. They're so slow and they have so many excuses. once i get out of the hospital...i'd look for better ones.

but i love the skirt that i just designed, i hope that it'll sell well though.

and the stuff i've been buying are doing pretty well. much to my surprise. but i do hope i'd get to sell my own designs this year.

okay gtg for now. just wanna keep a record of things i've been going through.

ciao!!!

permafrost

wednesday

my bf's friend fetched me at their store to take me to my bf's house. It's some walk away but i was so conscious of all his neighbors' looks on me. No wonder he felt a bit uneasy before about taking me to his place.

Anway, as i waited downstairs, i saw a pair of thin legs going down the stairs, deep inside i was praying it was not my bf's...i almost want to cry when i saw that it was his. He was so thin and sickly. Shucks. I don't know what to say. I don't have to say anything anymore...all i cared about was that finally he's home and i could take care of him. I just realized that i really do love my bf. It's not about who's sweet...who does for what...it's simply about caring about someone...inspite and despite of everything.

that night, he asked me to sleep at his place...no we didn't do it...he was too sick for that. Although, i felt uneasy since his parents would also be there...i agreed coz he needs help.

It was a good thing, i agreed because he was having high fever by thursday morning.

***

we rushed him to the hospital and i was there till this morning. he was so sick. i learned how to be a nurse. i checked his temperature all the time. I kept asking whatever medicines they made him take. His two sisters abroad were both nurses and so i had to remember all these details. I really wished they were here to make my bf feel easy. I couldn't explain all the medical terms since i have no clue about them, i just repeat to him whatever his doctor said. I knew he'd believe whatever his sisters tell him when it comes to medicines and his health.

We hardly slept for more than 4 straight hours. I always had to wipe his sweat off and i had to make sure that his temperature doesn't get too high. I also had to literally spoon feed him. My bf is such a baby. Last night, he asked me to hug him tightly...i just moved my arm a bit so i could wipe some cold towel on his face...and he'd say...hug me pls.

Then i told him that i had to go home the next day to my parents house. My mom's going back to bali this weekend and i'm sure she'd want to see me. He asked me not to leave him. I just nodded just so he could go to sleep. The next day as soon
as my bf woke up, he asked me if i'd still leave him.

I told him, just for one night, because i don't want my mom to get jealous of him. I know my bf needs me more than my mom. But i already didn't go home as i was supposed to yesterday. And anyway, what's one day if it's for my mom.

I promised my bf i'd go back the next day.

so there that's how my life has been this past few days. i just pray that my bf will get well soon enough. I was almost teary-eyed when my "future" mother-in-law told me what my "future" step daughter prayed last night: she prayed that her dad will get well soon because they haven't spent much time together yet. awww.

and when i called her up this morning, she asked me (sounding a lot like an adult) when i'd go there. She says she wants us to play with her new doll.

*overjoyed*

 

permafrost

shucks, this is the last time i'm gonna go online this week. The internet's super slow, it's not worth it and it's creating a whole in my pockets already.

anyway, our sales from last year just got lower by 2,000 bucks. it wasn't so bad but we could've done better.

anyway, i give up. i called my bf awhile ago. i figured maybe he deserves a chance even if he doesn't ask for it.

i've read somewhere that true love actually starts when you stop falling in love. cheesy i know, but i just hope it's worth it somehow. ok that'll be all for now...i'm gonna get poor with this terrible internet shop. i've been online for a LONG time. and it wasn't my fault if the internet's really slow. oh well. bye for now. ciao!!!

permafrost

I'm not gonna call him or text him unless he calls me first. I know, i'm such a brat. BUt my bf annoys me already. I try to be honest with him and tell him what he does that upsets me and yet he takes it nonchantly.

He thinks the world should revolve around him just because he's sick. I almost want to blurt out last night:

Hello?! The reason why you're sick is because God is punishing you because you're awfully rude and you're a total asshole.

Good thing, i have some self-control left. But don't try my patience mister, coz it's beginning to wear thin.

I wonder what has gotten into his thick head to think that he could just take me for granted just like that? I'm beginning to see why his ex left him. Cause he's just so self-centered and a pain in the ass.

There, just wanna let it all out. I hate my bf. I almost want to strangle his neck. Sigh!

I just wish he wouldn't come home yet 'coz i don't think i could stand him any longer.

Why is it so much easier to fall in love than to get out of a relationship?  

Ciao!!!

permafrost